I'm all about setting goals and never achieving them

So my lovely, most favorite cousin Kelly gave me the instructions to do a three day fruit flush. It's day two, and I already quit.

Day 1: Drink 6 oz. of whey protein shake every two hours from 8 am to 4 pm. The shake induced my gag reflex, so I'd chug it as fast as possible. Dinner was a salad (sick!) with olive oil and lime juice. I thought I put on way too much lime juice, but I'm pretty sure the lettuce was just bad. I wouldn't know. I don't eat crap like that! Hence the chub. I also got to eat four egg whites, and I have never been so happy to eat eggs with no salt or pepper on them. Compared with the salad, it was delicioso. I was still hungry, so I had a little cookie dough, a spoonful of ramen, and two saltines. Father, forgive me, for I have sinned.

Day 2: Eat one serving of fruit every two hours from 8 am to 4 pm. This will be way better. It WAS, but I still wasn't happy with it. I normally love plums, but for some reason I just hated these. I don't know if they were gross or my oppositism kicked in. I ate my stupid salad for dinner (with better lettuce, but it still tasted like crap), so I decided I was allowed to eat canned green beans. Don't know if it's allowed for this flush, but I was freakin' hungry. Don't deprive me of food! I get really pissy when that happens. But then I opened the mail and found coupons for Arby's, new Domino's sandwiches (have you SEEN them? they look delightful.), and desserts from Godfather's pizza. I decided I was done. All of that food was way more important than the loss of my lovehandles.

So I ordered some mozarella sticks.

Kari + = love. fat love, but it's love nonetheless.