The Beast

Remember my post about my lovely neighbor? Well, I have so much to update you about! I'll make a list.

1. "I know who you are."

[After that, each time we saw her, she was so friendly. Our nice neighbors were always talking about how much they hate her, but I didn't know how much of their stories to really believe, but I would always think back to the "I know who you are" story, so they could be telling the truth. I just hadn't really seen anything myself.]

2. Beck and I were playing during the day, and yes, he was running back and forth a little more than usual, but he just loved playing this game. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. I opened the door, and the neighbor goes, "Can you PLEASE keep your child from RUNNING and JUMPING on my head?!?!" I was shocked, and I said, "OK..." As she walked away, I said, "You know he's two, right?" "What?!" "You know he's two?" "I KNOW HE'S TWO! BUT I CAME UP HERE AND NICELY ASKED YOU..." I stopped listening at this point and just said another, "OK..." Lesson: You can be really rude, but if you include the word please in your sentence, you're nicely asking someone to do something. Good to know.

[I no longer talk to her when she comes around and does her super friendly act.

Also, sometime between these two run-ins, Beck threw his ball into her fenced-in patio area. We were like, "Well crap. That ball's a goner." It was like our own version of the Sandlot. Matt ended up holding Beck from his feet and dangling him over so he could grab the ball. Success. During this, I decided to call the precious little darling The Beast.]

3. Evening. Matt was outside with the nice neighbor (really, the actual nice one), and Beck and I were hanging out in our apartment. Matt came in and said, "A cop just pulled up and went into the downstairs neighbor's apartment." I thought that was weird. All the different options of why he was there ran through my head. Was she dead? Was he here because of us? Matt went back outside for a while, then came back and said, "Yep, she called the cops on Beck." The cop had come out and asked if Matt or the nice neighbor lived upstairs. Matt said that he did. The cop then explained what she was upset about, but he also said he had a two-year-old and knows that you can't really control them. (And why should you stop them from being two?!) He also didn't have any sympathy for her since she was yelling at him about us. He said she'll probably call again, and that he'll have to come back out, but to try to deal with her until she moves out. (But that's not until February, which is when we move out.) WHO CALLS THE POLICE ON A TWO-YEAR-OLD?!

[After that, I got a pretty hardcore glare as I came out of my apartment one day.]

4. Today. Daytime. We had the sliding glass door open because it's actually starting to cool down! Beck was standing in the living room watching a movie, and I was in the kitchen or walking back from my room. I don't really remember, but my point is that it was quiet. Then I heard yelling outside. Basically she yelled up to us through the open door and threatened to call the cops again if I didn't make Beck chill. Uhhh he's not even moving! I couldn't believe what just happened, so I called Matt and told him. I decided to go talk to the office about it since there's nothing else I could really do. I cried, then I went to the bathroom to make myself a little more presentable to go to the office, and I was totally shaking. I won't lie...I'm PMSing, and it sometimes makes my bad emotions get even worse. Writing this out also makes me feel stupid for being so upset, but I was (and still am). Beck and I went over to the office, where I swear the girl has a crush on Matt. I'm down with that since we'll probably get preferential treatment! I filled her in on the latest incident, and of course I cried at the end. This crying thing should be over in a day or two...hopefully.

So basically we need to be sleeping, gone, or quietly laying on the couch without breathing too loudly to make sure The Beast doesn't get upset.

Matt's more worried about Beck pleasing The Beast than I am. He is two (have I drilled that into your heads enough?), and I'm going to let him be two. I tell him no all the time, but I'm not going to tell him no when it's a perfectly acceptable thing to do. I'm going to let him run to his room because running is so much more entertaining than walking! I'm going to let him do normal two-year-old things. He's not jumping off the couch or bouncing balls on the ground. Damn it, he will be two!


Story that kind of goes along with the post:

I got the mail while coming back from the office and opened them when we got back to our apartment. Two pieces of mail made me cry--one bill and one random act of kindness that is making me cry as I think about it. Yeah, I'm a psycho right now. Beck heard me sniffle (what a stupid word), and he goes, "Nose?" and I nodded. He went to the bathroom and after quite a while, he came out with this:

Oh my gosh. Cutest munchkin ever. Makes me tear up just looking at it! I don't like being a psycho crier!!!! Hormones, go back to normal!!!!!!*

LONG post! Did anyone even read it?

*extra exclamation points especially for Clint.


Tate Family said...

Oh Kari, maybe I should come visit you with my boys...But for now, teach Beck to pee off the balcony onto her head is my best advice.

mommy dearest said...

Kelly, GREAT advice!
I'm glad you're blogging this for all of us. That picture of Beck with the toilet paper is priceless. Cutest munchkin EVER is right!! Beast is a royal pain in the butt. She's missing out on a great life, having you guys as neighbors.

Alex and Kerri said...

I really think you should rename this lady. Beast had such a soft heart in the end; you should call her...MALEFICENT!!! hahahaha! Seriously, what a witch. I'm sorry you have to put up with her. On the plus side, at least you have such a cute little man to take care of you!

The Bryger Family said...

Read every word. Holy Geez. I think tears were warranted. Beck is so dang cute. You have been way more composed that I would have been during these times of the Beastly encounters.


The Fraziers said...

I hate situations like this! I end up getting really angry and I'll start to tell the person off. But then I'll start crying a lot of the times too. Maybe because I'm surprised at how angry I am? Who knows.
Beck is obviously not a little Hellion child, the Beast is. She was probably beat into submission as a child because she was being to loud while reading a book. Bake her some cookies and put some of Beck's poop in them. Just kidding... That could end up bad.

Clint said...


I keed, I keed. And you might have to look that up to understand what it means. For what it's worth, we'd react the same way. He's two (I think) so let him be two--bitches be damned. And thanks for the extra exclamation points--it was...touching.

Clint said...

New comment to test the reply functionality. That is all.

tHe sMiTh SaGa said...

I read every word. You are so good at telling stories. I love it! What a terrible lady. She needs to get a life! I was laughing about your nickname for her. And also your comment about not breathing or else you get the cops called on you. So true. She is the Psycho not you. You have every right to cry!
This makes me miss you guys for some reason. I wish you could come back to Utah.
Could Beck be any sweeter? I love that he got you a roll of toilet paper for your nose. Awe!!!
Can't wait to hear more Beast Stories!

Rosemary said...

Kari...I wish they would move you into a downstairs apartment away from this person...it would a few days worth of hard work to get it done, but seriously, February is a long time off to have to deal with this. Just my two cents! As you know, I think Beck is the cutest 2 year old (wonder how I knew he was 2?) out there!!!

Chelsi said...

Omg! Send me her address. I'm going to make this bitch a shit pie! She is insane! What a miserable person!! I would be crying too! Beck is adorable and precious...and TWO!!!!! What if you got enough people to sign a petition to get her kicked out? Idk if that's even legal...but an idea nonetheless. Beck is too precious with the TP. I love random kindness mail.